dirt sword

A crudely crafted weapon made entirely of compacted mud.

The handle squishes slightly every time you swing it.

Deals 0.25 hearts of damage—if you’re lucky.

Breaks after three hits, or sooner if it gets wet.

Smells faintly of compost and disappointment.

Cannot be enchanted—except maybe with sadness.

Crafted by accident when someone misclicked with dirt blocks.

Enemies laugh instead of taking damage.

Occasionally drops crumbs of soil when used.

Loses durability just from being looked at.

Completely ineffective against anything harder than grass.

Chickens are mildly inconvenienced by it.

Zombies ignore you out of pity.

Villagers refuse to trade if they see you holding it.

Boasts the tooltip: “At least it’s… biodegradable?”

Can’t block, can’t stab, can barely exist.

The sword’s texture looks like someone forgot to finish it.

Officially classified as “compostable equipment.”

Great for tilling—terrible for killing.

A monument to the question: “Why did you even make this?”